Actions and Consequences
by JasonMorganfan87
Summary: Takes place during 'Borderland'. What if the encounter between Tim, Abby, and Paloma had ended in bloodshed. Who would survive and who wouldn't. Would the one to survive ever be able to forgive themselves for it. And how will Gibbs react when he realizes just how far the consequences of his past actions have reached?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or any of its characters.**

**Actions and Consequences**

**A/N: This chapter contains dialog from the episode of NCIS entitled 'Borderland'. This story also contains a major character death.**

Tim felt his stomach turn in nervousness as he watched a bunch of men with guns approach him, Abby and the students. They were in drug dealer territory, so he knew that whoever they were, they were dangerous.

Soon a woman approached them. "You're trespassing."

"This is public property," Abby said.

"We were just leaving," Tim said quickly. He was hoping he could get everyone out of there without further incident.

"Actually, no. You're not," the woman said menacingly. "Line up! All of you!"

All the students scrambled to get into a line.

"It's probably a good time to start praying too," the woman told Tim and Abby.

"Uh, can we just slow down here for a second?" Tim asked. He had to figure out how to get them out of there. If he didn't think of something, they were all dead.

"Sorry, I have lunch plans," she said sarcastically.

"Would it help you to know that I am a guest of your government?" Abby asked proudly.

"Abby," Tim chastised. Like saying all that was going to help. Didn't Abby realize by now that these people didn't give a damn about the government?

"What?" Abby asked.

The woman approached them. "Okay, maybe I won't kill you. Maybe I'll take you hostage instead. See how much you're worth."

Tim took out his badge and showed it to her. He had a feeling he was going to regret what he was about to do, but he really had no choice. He couldn't let all these people become target practice if he could avoid it. "My name is Timothy McGee. I'm a United States federal agent. I'm worth a lot to them, Okay?" he said before handing her his badge. "Now, if you just let them go, you can keep me."

She looked at the badge and then tossed it back to him. "You're a brave man, Timothy McGee. Do you know who I am?"

"No."

"My name is Paloma Reynosa," she said.

Tim gulped. "Reynosa, as in..."

"Reynosa Drug Cartel. At least that's what you would call it," Paloma said.

"Yeah, we're screwed," Tim whispered to Abby.

Paloma must have heard him because she laughed. "Yes, I would say you are, Agent McGee. You see, I have no need for hostages. I prefer to send messages in other ways," she said before speaking to her men in Spanish.

Then before Tim could even react, he was watching as every one of the students was gunned down where they stood. Then Abby. He watched her drop dead to the ground. "Abby!" He then felt himself to a bullet to the chest and fall to the ground.

Tim felt like his chest was literally on fire. It felt like hot lava had just been inserted into his chest. It hurt more than anything he'd ever felt in his entire life.

Paloma soon approached him. Tim prepared himself for the next shot that would end his life. He actually welcomed it. Between the pain of the bullet and the pain of having watched one of his closest friends die, he was ready to die too.

But that final shot never came. Instead, Paloma knelt down next to him with an evil smile on her face. "Do not worry. I am not going to kill you. Well, I'm not going to help that bullet along anyway. Whether you die from that shot remains to be seen."

"W...Why?" Tim asked. Why would she let him live after killing everyone else? Did she want him to suffer? Did she want him to spend the rest of his life wondering what he could've done to stop this from happening?

Paloma began removing something from the chain around her neck. "I told you I had a message to send. You will deliver it if you survive. If you don't... Well, I suppose you will still deliver it," she said before placing the item in Tim's hand. "Be sure to give that to your boss if you make it back to him. Tell him we will be seeing each other very soon."

Tim watched as she got up and she and her men left. He then turned to the side to where Abby laid. "Abby," was the last thing he was able to say before everything went black.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

When Tim came to, he felt like he was moving. He was lying down, but whatever he was on must have had wheels, like a stretcher.

"Agent McGee. Agent McGee, can you hear me?"

Tim turned towards the voice and came face to face with Alejandro Rivera. "S...Senior Rivera."

"Yes. You are in the hospital Agent McGee. You were shot," Alejandro said.

"A...Abby?" Tim asked.

Alejandro grew a sad look on his face. "I'm sorry."

Tim closed his eyes sadly. "He'd figured as much but before he was still able to hope. He could still hope that she wasn't dead. Now that hope was gone. Abby was dead and it was because he couldn't protect her.

"Agent McGee, I will be contacting Director Vance as soon as possible, but is there anyone closer that I can call?" Alejandro asked.

Tim was about to say no when he remembered what Paloma said to him and what she gave him. The one that still laid in his hand. He needed to get that information to someone and it could be too late if he had to wait for Gibbs. He needed to get to someone sooner and he knew just the person. "M...Mike F...Franks. "I c...can't d...die until I t...talk to him."

"I will contact him immediately, Agent McGee," Alejandro promised.

Soon Tim felt himself being wheeled away from Alejandro. The thing Paloma had given him was still firmly in his grasp.


	2. Chapter 2

Vance was in his office doing paperwork when his phone began to beep indicating that his secretary had something to tell him. He pushed the button to speak to her. "Yes?"

_"Director, Alejandro Rivera is on line one."_

Vance sighed. That most likely meant that Agent McGee and Miss Scuito had made a nuisance of themselves. Actually, Miss Scuito was probably the one to be a nuisance while McGee ineffectively tried to stop her. "Alright, thank you."

Vance quickly picked up the phone and pressed the button for line one. "Senor Rivera, good to hear from you. Is everything alright?"

Vance listened intently as Alejandro spoke. His face grew darker by the second. "What? How many dead? And my people?

Vance closed his eyes sadly as Alejandro continued to speak. What had he done? He thought that by sending McGee and Miss Scuito to Mexico, he'd be promoting foreign relations. Instead, he had at least one of them coming back in a body bag. "How the hell did this happen? Well, you had better find out how by the time I get there!" he said before angrily hanging up the phone.

Vance took a few deep breaths before standing up. He put on his 'director' face and made his way out of his office. He slowly walked through his secretary's office and down the stairs to the bullpen. He found all of Team Gibbs working on their latest case. "Gibbs, pack up everything you've got on this case. We're handing it off to another team."

"What?" Gibbs asked through gritted teeth. Everyone knew he hated it when anyone tried to interfere with his cases and that included the director.

"Everyone pack your bags. We're going to Mexico," Vance said.

Gibbs stood up and narrowed his eyes. Abby and McGee were in Mexico. 'What happened?"

Vance swallowed as he attempted to find the words to tell them what happened. "There was a shootout on the street of Mexico. Agent McGee and Miss Scuito, as well as several students were involved."

"But they're okay, right?" Tony asked. They had to be okay. He wasn't sure he could handle it if either of them weren't.

"Agent McGee suffered a shot to the chest. He's in critical condition," Vance said.

"And Abby?" Gibbs asked as his stomach did backflips. He had a feeling that this was only going to get worse as Vance spoke.

"I'm sorry. Miss Scuito didn't survive," Vance said regretfully.

Gibbs collapsed in his chair. He couldn't believe this was happening again. He felt like someone had just taken out a piece of his heart. It was the same way he felt nearly twenty years ago when he'd gotten the news of Shannon and Kelly. Abby had been like a daughter to him and now she was gone. It had happened in an instant.

"S...she's dead?" Tony stuttered. "No. No, she can't be."

"I'm afraid it's true, DiNozzo. I don't have the details, but both Miss Scuito and Agent Gibbs were gunned down along with Miss Scuito's students. Senor Rivera believes it may have been drug dealers or gang members," Vance said.

"What about McGee? He will live, right?" Ziva asked. She was practically begging Vance to say yes. They couldn't lose him too.

"I don't know. As I said, he's critical right now. Listen I understand that this is all difficult for all of you, but we need to get to Mexico as soon as possible," Vance said.

"Boss?" Tony called. The man had been practically unresponsive since Vance told them.

Gibbs finally came out of his stupor and looked at him. "Yeah. Go home and start packing. By back here in an hour."

They both nodded and headed to the elevator.

"I'm sorry, Jethro. I know how much Miss Scuito meant to you," Vance said.

"Don't feel sorry for me. Feel sorry for them," Gibbs said venomously. He was going to make whoever was responsible for this rue the day they'd even thought of messing with his people. They would pay.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Tim opened his eyes to find himself in a small room. He wasn't sure where he even was. Then he looked up and saw Mike Franks and everything came flooding back. He'd been shot. They'd all been shot and he was the only one to survive, something he wished he could rectify. "M...Mike."

"You look like crap, kid," Mike said. There was no humor in his voice like there normally would be.

"Gibbs," Tim said.

"He'll be here soon I'm sure," Mike said. He hadn't gotten the chance to check in with him, but the Mexican cop that had called him told him that NCIS had already been contacted.

"Y...You have to tell him..." He didn't know how much longer he would be alive, so he had to give the message to Mike to give to Gibbs.

"Tell him what?" Mike asked.

"M...Message," Tim said. He was doing his best to explain, but it hurt every time he spoke.

"What message? Look, whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait," Mike said

"No! He n...needs to Kn...Know. M...Might not m...make it," Tim said. Honestly he hoped he didn't make it. He didn't want to live knowing that Abby was dead because he couldn't protect her.

"Jethro would slap you if he heard that, bullet or no bullet," Mike commented.

"H...He has to kn...know," Tim repeated.

"Know what?" Mike asked.

Tim went to give him the thing in his hand, but then he realized it was gone. "W...where...? Where...?

"Where's what?"

"I...I had it," Tim said. He was starting to get frantic. He needed it. He needed to make sure it got to Gibbs. He didn't know what it was, but he knew that Gibbs needed it to protect himself from the Reynosa Cartel.

"Something you came in with?" Mike asked.

Tim nodded.

Mike opened the drawer of the nightstand next to the bed and found a small clear bag with a sniper round in it. "Where'd this come from?"

"Gave it to me. S...Said give it to G...Gibbs," Tim struggled to say.

"Who?"

"P...Paloma R...Reynosa," Tim said.

Mike stiffened. He knew that name. He'd know it anywhere. Those were the people that had murdered Gibbs' family. He looked back at the round. He would bet every dollar he had that that bullet would fit Gibbs' sniper rifle. This whole thing was not some random act of violence. McGee and Abby had been used to send a message. Paloma Reynosa had just declared war.


	3. Chapter 3

When Vance and Gibbs and his team made it Mexico, Alejandro Rivera was waiting for them at the airport. "Director Vance, it's good to see you. Though I wish it was under better circumstances. This is Agent Gibbs, Agent DiNozzo, Officer David, and Doctor Mallard."

"It's nice to meet you all. My deepest sympathies on Miss Scuito's loss," Alejandro said.

"What the hell happened out there?" Gibbs demanded to know. He had no time or patience for pleasantries. He wanted to know who killed Abby and put McGee in the hospital so that he could find them and tear them apart.

"I wish I had answers for you, Agent Gibbs. I haven't been able to get in to see Agent McGee since just after he was brought into emergency. I tried just before coming here, but I was stopped by Mr. Franks," Alejandro said.

"Franks?" Vance asked. He of course knew who Alejandro was speaking of, but he didn't understand how the man had gotten involved in the situation.

"Yes. Agent McGee asked me to contact Mike Franks right after he was shot. I think he was afraid he would not survive long enough for you to get here. Anyway, ever since he got there, he has been refusing to allow me to speak with Agent McGee," Alejandro explained

That immediately set off alarm bells with Gibbs. Mike wouldn't do something like that unless he was trying to hide something. That meant that he knew what happened and that it wasn't just some random act of violence.

"How is McGee?" Ziva asked.

"Alive so far, but I do not know if he'll stay that way, According to his doctor there was a lot of damage and they don't have the resources to repair it. You see, gunshot wounds are complicated anywhere. In Mexico they become even more complicated because we don't have all the lifesaving resources that countries such as yours have," Alejandro said.

"Then he should be airlifted back to Washington," Ducky said.

"My suggestion exactly, but his doctor does not believe he will survive the journey right now. He is hoping that Agent McGee will stabilize and then they will be able to transfer him," Alejandro explained.

"Why is he even alive?" Tony asked.

"Anthony!" Ducky admonished.

"That's not what I meant. I just mean that if it really was gang or drug related, wouldn't they kill him just like the others?" Tony asked.

Alejandro nodded. "Yes, that was a question I had planned to ask Agent McGee, but I cannot get near him."

"I can," Gibbs said before walking away. The others soon followed him.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

They all made it to the hospital about an hour later. Vance got Alejandro to leave and let them handle it by promising to explain later.

They found Mike outside the room Tim was supposed to be in. "Well, it's about time you all showed up."

"Mike," Gibbs greeted.

"Probie. I'm sorry about Abby," Mike said.

They looked sad and grief stricken at the mention of their fallen Goth friend. Finally Ducky cleared this throat. "I'm going to go see if I can't find Timothy's doctor."

"Tony, Ziva, go with him," Gibbs ordered.

"Yes, Boss," Tony said before he and Ziva followed Ducky."

"I'm going to go see about arranging transportation for McGee for when he's ready to be moved," Vance said. He knew that Franks would not speak about whatever he knew with anyone but Gibbs. It was better to leave them to it.

Gibbs nodded and watched Vance leave before turning back to Mike. "Alright, Mike, what's going on? This wasn't just some random tragedy, was it?"

"No, Probie, it wasn't," Mike said before taking out the bag with the sniper round. "I think this belongs to you."

Gibbs took it from him and examined it carefully. "A round from a sniper rifle."

"Not just any rifle, Jethro. Yours," Mike said.

"Mine? How do you know that?" Gibbs asked. There were hundreds of rifles just like his. How could Mike possibly know that that round came from his weapon?

"Have you wondered yet why your boy is alive while everyone else on that street is dead?" Mike asked.

"Someone's trying to send a message," Gibbs realized. Someone had shot McGee and murdered Abby because they wanted to send him a message.

"Yeah. A very similar message to the one you sent nearly twenty years ago. I checked after I spoke to McGee. They were shot in the same spot," Mike said.

"Where I shot Pedro Hernandez," Gibbs said barely audible. The realization shook him to the core. He'd caused this. His revenge on the man that murdered his family had gotten Abby killed and put a bullet in McGee's chest.

"McGee said that Paloma Reynosa was the one to order the executions. She left the possibility for McGee to survive for the sole purpose of delivering her message to you," Mike said.

"Why? Why in the hell were they on that damned street to begin with?!" Gibbs asked frustrated. This wasn't supposed to happen. All of this was supposed to be done twenty years ago. It wasn't supposed to come back to bite his people.

"You'll have to ask McGee if he makes it through this," Mike said.

"He'll make it. All he has to do is hang in long enough for us to get him back to Washington and get him the medical care he needs," Gibbs said. He would be damned if McGee died now. He'd made this far. He would make it the rest of the way. He had to.

"What makes you think he wants to fight? That kid watched helplessly as over a dozen people, one of them being a close friend, were gunned down right in front of him. He's the only one that survived. He's dealing with a boat load of survivor's guilt. I doubt there's any part of him that wants to live right now," Mike said sadly.

"Well, it's not up to him and I'm gonna make sure he knows that. I'm going to see him," Gibbs said before walking passed Mike and into Tim's room.


	4. Chapter 4

Gibbs sat by Tim's bedside as he slept. He looked very pale and fragile. Like all it would take was one small push to do him. Hell, it probably would. They really needed to get him back home so he could get the care he needed.

Soon, Tim began to wake up. His eyes fluttered open and they locked with Gibbs. He didn't say anything though. He was waiting for Gibbs. He was waiting for the man to tell him how much he hated him for getting Abby killed.

Gibbs didn't speak either. He just couldn't bring himself to. What was he supposed to say to the man whose life he'd ruined? McGee's life was never going to be the same after what happened. He would probably never be able to shut his eyes and not see the faces of Abby and those students dead on the ground. That was Gibbs' fault. It was the price his revenge had caused.

Finally Tim couldn't stand the silence anymore. "I...I'm so s...sorry, B...Boss."

"Don't. Don't apologize." The words sounding like begging even to his ears. He just couldn't bear to listen to his agent apologize for something that was ultimately his fault. He was the one that should be apologizing, not McGee.

"I...I tried to s...stop her. I...I t...told her to t...take me and l...let the others go, but she w...wouldn't listen," Tim said.

"Tim, stop! It wasn't your fault. She'd already made the decision to shoot all of you before she even stepped out of her car," Gibbs said. Actually, she'd probably even made the decision before Tim and Abby had even made it to Mexico. He wasn't exactly sure how Paloma had managed to set all this in motion, but he was certain that she did.

"Did M...Mike give you the m...message?" Tim asked.

"Yes," Gibbs said simply. He couldn't bring himself to tell him. How could he tell his agent that he was the reason all this had happened. He would never forgive him.

"I wasn't sure I'd l...live long enough to t...tell you myself," Tim said.

"You're gonna be fine," Gibbs promised.

"No d...disrespect intended, B...Boss, but you're wrong," Tim said. It didn't matter what happened. It didn't matter if he died in an hour from his injuries or lived for the next fifty years. He would never be okay again.

Gibbs understood his meaning immediately and cringed. He was right. He wouldn't be okay. Not ever again. "You're gonna get through this. We're gonna get you home and to a better hospital. All you have to do is keep fighting until then."

"I don't wanna fight," Tim said. He sounded physically and mentally exhausted. He just wanted the pain to end. And he didn't mean the pain the bullet had caused. Every time he closed his eyes, all he saw was Abby getting shot over and over again. It sent a pain through his chest that did more damage than the bullet he'd taken. He just wanted it to be over.

Gibbs sighed. "I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that everything's gonna be okay because that would be lie. Nothing will be okay. Abby's gone. We can't just pretend that she's not. But I'll be damned if I lose you too. I'm not going to let you die."

"I s...should already be dead. I...I don't know w...why she didn't kill me," Tim said.

"It doesn't matter. You are alive and you're going to stay that way. You are not allowed to die! Do you understand me?" Gibbs asked.

"Yes, Boss," Tim said. As much as he wanted to die right now, he would not defy a direct order from Gibbs if he could help it.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Gibbs walked out into the hall about twenty minutes later to find his team, Vance, and Mike waiting.

"How is he, Jethro?" Ducky asked.

"As well as anyone can expect. Where are we in getting him home?" Gibbs asked.

"His doctor says that he's about as he's going to get. Waiting any longer would just put him at greater risk, so he's clearing him to be airlifted to Bethesda," Ducky explained.

"Transportation will be ready to take us all home in an hour," Vance said.

"And Abby?" Gibbs asked. He wanted her home too. He wanted to be able to bury her properly.

"Her body will be shipped back within a day or two. I didn't think it would do McGee any good for it to be on the plane with us," Vance said.

Gibbs nodded. He didn't want to leave without Abby, but she was gone. McGee wasn't. He had to be at the center of Gibbs' concern right now.

"I still need to tell Senor Rivera something. He wants to know who did this," Vance said.

"Tell him drug dealers," Gibbs said.

"Can I tell him which drug dealers?" Vance asked. After all, that didn't exactly narrow down the search.

"No," Gibbs said simply. "I need to get some air. I'll meet you all at the airport," Gibbs said before walking away.

Mike immediately followed him. "Don't do it, Probie."

Gibbs ignored him. He'd already made up his mind. He was doing it.

Mike grabbed Gibbs by the arm and forced him to turn around. "Hey! I know where you're going and don't! It aint gonna do any good right now. Just go home."

"Like you did when it was your son?" Gibbs asked. He knew it was a low blow, but it was true. He couldn't let this go. Not anymore than Mike could, not anymore than he could the first time.

"Not forever, Probie. You wanna put a bullet in what passes for that bitch's heart, you be my best, but not today. She's expecting it today. Just wait. Take the time to help your agent heal and deal with Abby's death. Then come back and finish her. Just wait a little while before you confront her," Mike advised.

"I can't," Gibbs said before walking away. This time Mike didn't follow him.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Gibbs approached the area where Abby and Tim were shot. It was the same place he'd shot Pedro Hernandez. The truck he was driving was still there. Of course it was covered in blood right now. The whole area was. There was blood and brain matter everywhere. Gibbs briefly wondered where Abby had fallen.

Thankfully Gibbs didn't have long to contemplate that because he soon heard footsteps. He didn't turn around. He knew who it was. He knew she'd come. Hell, he wasn't convinced she'd ever left.

"It's amazing, isn't it?" A woman with a thick accent said.

Gibbs turned around to see a woman with dark skin and black hair. It was Paloma, he was sure. What surprised him was that she was alone. Someone like her didn't go anywhere without guards. Yet here he was all by her lonesome. The woman had guts. "And what's that?"

"How people keep dying here. The deaths from yesterday weren't the first. But I'm sure you already knew that," Paloma said.

"Hmm. I also know they won't be the last," Gibbs said.

Paloma chuckled. "Yes, this place almost seems cursed, doesn't it? I wonder who will be the next to die. Will it be you?"

"Is that a threat? You're not gonna shoot me. You wanna torture me. That's why you killed Abby. You knew she and McGee would be here. I don't know how yet, but you knew," Gibbs said.

"You say I shot them, but you don't have proof, do you? Well, I suppose there is Agent McGee if he survives, but you can't really implicate me without implicating yourself in the death of my father," Paloma said with a smirk.

Gibbs laughed, almost manically. "You don't really think I'm gonna let you rot in a prison cell, do you? No, not a chance. You're gonna die for what you did."

"Oh, am I?" Paloma asked in an amused tone.

"Yeah, I am! But not today. That would be too easy. You see I've learned something in the last twenty years. Back then I wanted it over quickly. I wanted it done. But I've grown a little more patient since then. Not much more, but enough. I'm gonna take my time with killing you. I'm gonna go home and help my people recover from what you've done. While I'm doing that, I'll also be planning the most painful, agonizing death that my brain can think up and then I will come back and end you. Not sure when it'll be. Could be next week, could be next year, but it will happen. I suggest you live every moment as if it were your last," Gibbs said before walking closer until they were mere inches apart. He then leaned in to whisper into her ear. "Because it just might be.


	5. Chapter 5

Gibbs made it back to the hospital about an hour later just as Tim was being wheeled out.

"Ah, just in time, Jethro. We're about ready to go," Ducky said.

"Go ahead without me. I'll be there in a minute," Gibbs said.

The others quickly left until it was just Gibbs and Mike.

"You should get your family out of here. Get them someplace safe," Gibbs advised Mike. It was not safe for anyone close to him anymore. Abby's death had proven that.

"They're already gone. Got them out of dodge the minute your boy brought up the bitch's name. I knew this would turn into a bloodbath. Well, more of a bloodbath," Mike corrected. "I take it this means she's still alive."

"For now," Gibbs said before walking away.

"I'm not going to try to take you out of killing her," Mike said.

"Good," Gibbs replied. There was no talking him out of it. There was no reasoning with him at all over it. He was going to kill her. It was as simple as that.

"But be careful. I get the impression that this is not someone who will back down easily," Mike warned.

"Neither am I. You be careful too, Mike. No one close to me is safe right now. Especially not in this God forsaken place. Watch your back," Gibbs said.

"Always do, Probie. Make sure to let me know when you head back this way. I'd hate to miss out when it happens," Mike said.

Gibbs nodded and then walked away.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Gibbs was on medevac plane with McGee and Ducky. The others had been forced to take a commercial flight due to lack of room.

"He's holding up well," Ducky said as he looked at an unconscious Tim.

"He knows there's no other option," Gibbs said.

"How about you? How are you holding up?" Ducky asked.

"I'm fine, Duck," Gibbs said. There was a lie if he'd ever heard one. He was far from fine. Two people he considered family had just been victimized by someone after him. One was dead and the other wished he was. No, there was nothing fine about him right now and he doubted there ever would be again.

"There's no need to lie, Jethro. It's clear that you are not fine," Ducky said.

"Then why ask?" Gibbs asked agitatedly.

Ducky sighed. "Abigail's death has his us all hard. It's going to be difficult to survive her loss."

"I can't remember the last thing I said to her, Duck. I keep trying, but I can't remember," Gibbs said.

"Don't try. Those words don't matter. What you want to remember is everything else. All the good things you loved about her. That's what we should all be focusing on," Ducky said. Even he knew that was going to be difficult though. Right now all any of them, including himself, could see was the loss.

"I shouldn't have let them go. I should've fought Vance on it," Gibbs said. Even though he knew it probably wouldn't have changed much, that Paloma would've still come after his people, he wished he could've stopped it, even if just for a little while.

"Jethro, you can't blame yourself for this. You couldn't have known this would happen. No one could. As hard as it is to accept, this was just a random, senseless tragedy," Ducky said.

Gibbs wished it was that easy. He wished it was as Ducky said, random and senseless. But it was neither. This happened because of something he did twenty years ago. Abby was dead because of him. There was no escaping that fact. "You're wrong."

Ducky sighed. "Blaming yourself isn't going to help anything, Jethro. I know you like to believe that you can fix everything or prevent it, but you can't. Don't do this to yourself. Timothy will likely blame himself enough for all of us."

"He already does," Gibbs said sadly as he looked at his agent. That was the worst part. Well, aside from the event itself. The fact that Tim blamed himself for what he caused made Gibbs feel even more guilty.

"Yes, well, that's not surprising. Timothy witnessed the whole thing and lived. That alone is enough for him to blame himself, even if it is unjustified," Ducky said.

"He's never gonna get over this," Gibbs said sadly. None of them would really, but it was going to be worse for Tim. He was the one who had to live the rest of his life with the memory of what happened. It wasn't just Abby either. He'd seen over a dozen people killed. That moment was going to haunt him for the rest of his life. In many ways, Abby was luckier than him. At least her suffering was over. Tim's would never end.

"No, I would say not," Ducky agreed. He wished he could disagree with his friend's sentiments, but he couldn't. Young Timothy's life would never go back to the way it had before. There was simply no undoing what had happened. "But perhaps one day, with some help, it'll get better."

"No. He may learn to push to the back of his mind, but it'll never get better," Gibbs said knowingly. He knew from experience that he was right about that. Pain like that didn't go away. You just learned to distance yourself from it, and usually you buried a piece of yourself with it.

"Well, first thing's first. We need to make sure he gets the medical care he needs or this will all be immaterial," Ducky said.\

"He'll live," Gibbs said confidently.

"If for no other reason than you told him to," Ducky commented. Normally this would be considered a joke, but there was no trace of humor in Ducky's voice.

"Yes. That's the only reason. He doesn't want to live," Gibbs said.

"You don't think he's suicidal, do you?" Ducky asked in alarm.

"No. If he was, he wouldn't have responded when I ordered him to live. He just wishes that he didn't have to live with pain. I know how he feels," Gibbs said. A part of him wished he was dead too. That way he wouldn't have to feel all this pain and guilt.

"Yes, well, he'll make it through. He always does," Ducky said before looking at his watch. "We should be landing soon."

"Right," Gibbs said before fastening his seatbelt and preparing for landing.


	6. Chapter 6

Early the next morning, Tony found himself by one of the vending machines at Bethesda. McGee had immediately been taken into surgery and now they were waiting for to hear about his condition.

Tony placed a dollar into the machine and pressed the button for his desired snack. Nothing happened. "Oh, come on!" he said angrily before hitting and shaking the machine.

"Tony! Tony, Stop!" Ziva said as she pulled him away.

"The damned thing won't give me what I want! It's supposed to work! Something needs to work!" Tony said angrily.

"I know," Ziva said. She knew that he was not really angry about the machine. He was angry about everything that was happening. He was angry that Abby was gone and that they might lose McGee as well.

Tony turned away from Ziva leaned against the wall. "I don't remember the last thing I said to her. I don't even remember if I saw her that day. God, why did this happen? How could something like this happen?"

"I do not know," Ziva said quietly. She had been thinking about it ever since Vance told them what happened. She wanted to know why this happened. Why someone would shoot her friends and leave them in the street to die like they were trash. She could not find an answer. She could not understand how or why this could happen.

"You know, I remember when Kate died. It was sudden, but not completely unexpected. She was an agent. Her job entailed risking her life every day. There was always a chance she wouldn't come back from a mission, just as there was for the rest of us. But Abby was different. Nothing like this was supposed to happen to her. She was scientist, not an agent. She was supposed to be safe," Tony said.

"Why didn't he protect her? He was supposed to protect her," Tony said.

"Who?" Ziva asked. He was not talking about McGee, was he? This was not McGee's fault. He was a victim too.

Tony finally looked at her. "Who do you think? He was sent with her to protect her! He was supposed to keep her safe!"

"Do you honestly think he did not try? They were outnumbered, Tony. They had guns, McGee did not. What could he have done?" Ziva asked. She honestly could not see how McGee could possibly be blamed. He would've done anything to protect Abby and those students. He just wasn't able to. That didn't make it his fault.

"You heard Rivera in Mexico. They weren't even supposed to be on that street. It was drug dealer territory. They were warned about that. They were told not to go. He shouldn't have let Abby take the class out there," Tony said resentfully. If McGee had just listened to what he was told, this never would've happened. Abby would be alive and they would all be safe back at the office. In the back of his head, he knew that what he was saying and thinking wasn't right, but he couldn't hear it right now. He was just too angry.

"Let her? Since when does anyone _let_ Abby do anything? You know Abby. She does what she wants no matter what anybody says. The fact that that road was out of bounds would have made it all that more appealing to her," Ziva said. While it was true that they would not know what really happened until McGee could tell them, it was not hard to guess. McGee was the most conscientious person she knew when it came to safety. He would have heeded Senior Rivera's warning. Abby would not have. She would've gone anyway and McGee would have felt compelled to go with her to protect her.

Tony slammed his hand against the wall. He knew what she was saying was true. It wasn't fair for him to blame McGee, but he was just so angry and he wanted someone to take it out on someone. "He should've stopped her! Somebody should've stopped it! They shouldn't have been there! They should've been here. Vance shouldn't have let them go."

Ziva finally realized what Tony was doing. He probably did not realize it, but she did. He did not really blame McGee or Vance. He was simply looking for a target to lash out at. But that person couldn't be McGee. He wouldn't be able to handle that. "Tony, what happened was not McGee's fault, nor was it Vance's, Gibbs, yours, or mine. The only people responsible are the monsters that took guns and cowardly shot dozens of people like animals.

Tony backed up against the wall. He knew she was right. It wasn't really any of their faults. He just wanted someone to blame. He wanted someone to take his anger out on. "It's not fair. This shouldn't have happened."

"No, it should not have. But it did and we have to find some way to live with it. And we cannot do it by placing the blame on each other. Especially not where McGee is concerned. He watched Abby die. He was with her and he could do nothing as she was killed. That is going to weigh on for the rest of his life. He cannot take you blaming him as well. He has enough guilt for all of us," she said.

"I…I don't really blame him. It's just that he was there and… I just want someone to blame," Tony said.

"I know, but you cannot make McGee that person. It is not any of our faults, but if you must blame someone, blame one of us. Blame Vance, blame Gibbs, hell, blame the entire Mexican government if you must. But you cannot blame McGee. I think that it might just kill him," Ziva said seriously.

"That's if he survives this," Tony said. He was kicking himself for even thinking of blaming McGee. His friend was in surgery possibly dying and he was out here blaming him for something that he couldn't control. What was wrong with him?

"He will. He is strong. He will come through this," Ziva assured him. She doubted McGee wanted to come thought this, but he would. He wouldn't succumb to the darkness. They would not let him. More importantly, Gibbs would not let him. What she was afraid of was that he would not recover emotionally. Abby's death was sure to devastate him, and as she said, he would probably blame himself just for surviving when Abby did not.

"God, I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know why I blamed him," Tony said.

"It is as you said, you wanted to blame someone. I understand that need, but you cannot," Ziva said firmly.

"I know. I'm done, I swear. Look, I'm gonna get some air. Would you let me know if McGee gets out of surgery before I get back?" Tony asked.

"Of course," Ziva promised.

"Thanks," Tony said before walking towards the exit.


	7. Chapter 7

Gibbs was sitting alone in the waiting room. Ziva and Tony had gone off somewhere, Vance had gone to NCIS leaving orders to be informed of McGee's condition, and Ducky had gone for a walk. This left Gibbs alone to deal with how royally he'd messed up. His people were paying for his crimes. Abby was dead and McGee might join her, all because of his revenge.

Gibbs soon saw a cup of coffee in his face. He looked up to see that Ducky had returned. "That's not coffee, Duck."

Ducky pulled the coffee back. "Well, I didn't want to leave the hospital. Any change?"

Gibbs shook his head. "No, nothing."

Ducky sighed and sat down next to his friend. "He'll be alright, Jethro. He'll survive this."

"He better be. I'll never forgive myself if he's not," Gibbs said. Actually, he'd never forgive himself period, but if McGee died too, that was it. Not only would he never forgive himself, but once he paid back the bitch that did this, he'd following the young agent out of this world. It had been hard enough to lose Abby. It had felt like losing Kelly all over again. About the only thing keeping him going was the fact that McGee needed him. But if he died too, all bets were off.

"Jethro, you must stop blaming yourself. You can't stop every random act of violence," Ducky said.

"That's just it, Ducky. It wasn't random. This was not one of those wrong place at the wrong time type deals. They weren't on that street by accident. This whole thing was orchestrated from the moment they stepped foot on Mexican soil, maybe even before," Gibbs said.

"How could you know that?" Ducky asked.

"The shooter left McGee with a parting gift. A round from my sniper rifle," Gibbs said.

"Your rifle? What could possibly make you think that?" Ducky wondered. That seemed a rather random conclusion to come to. Unless of course the shooter had told Timothy that.

"Because of who the person responsible. Name's Paloma Reynosa," Gibbs said, spitting out the name like it was poison.

"Reynosa? Why does that name sound so familiar?" Ducky asked. He knew he'd heard that name before, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

"The man that killed my wife and daughter, Pedro Hernandez, was a member of the Reynosa Cartel. Paloma Reynosa is his daughter," Gibbs explained.

Ducky immediately pieced it together. He knew that Jethro had killed Pedro Hernandez. He'd never said it, but he didn't have to. Ducky knew that Jethro would never let the man who took his family away from him just walk away. He would've extracted his own brand of justice. So since Jethro had killed her father, it was likely that she had in turn took her own brand of justice out on him by attacking Timothy and Abigail.

"Still gonna say it's not my fault, Duck?" Gibbs asked.

"Jethro, you couldn't have known this would happen," Ducky said.

"You're right about that. I never thought about the consequences. I didn't think about anything, but revenge. I wanted the bastard to pay for taking everything from me. I never thought the day would come where I'd even have anything worth taking again. So, no, I didn't see this coming, but that doesn't make me any less responsible," Gibbs said. The worst part was he was doing it all over again. When he wasn't thinking about whether or not McGee would live, he was thinking about exacting revenge on the person who shot him and killed Abby. This time would be different though. He would make sure no one would be coming around to exact revenge for Paloma's death. That was a part of the reason he didn't kill her on the spot in Mexico. He had to be smart about this. He couldn't allow anyone else to come looking for payback.

"You were grieving and no one could offer you justice. No one can blame you for it," Ducky said. Yes, it was legally and some might even argue morally wrong, but it was also very understandable. Most men would find themselves hard pressed not to murder the man that took their families away.

"I'm pretty sure McGee can and he will," Gibbs said. He was positive McGee would hate him when he found out. And he had every right to. McGee's life would be changed forever all because of Gibbs.

"I think you underestimate Timothy. It's true, he may be angry at first, but he will realize just as I do that you couldn't have possibly foreseen this. You need to stop beating yourself up over this. It won't bring Abigail back, nor will it heal Timothy," Ducky said.

Just then, Tony and Ziva made it over to them. "Hey. Do we know anything yet?" Tony asked.

"Not yet, no," Ducky said.

Tony sighed in exasperation. "What is taking so long? They've been in there for hours."

"They're doing their jobs, Anthony. It's better that they take their time to fix Timothy rather than rush and possibly make a mistake," Ducky said.

"Yeah, I know. I just wish they would come out and tell us something," Tony said. He was tired of waiting. He just wanted to know if he was going to lose another friend tonight.

As if on cue, a young, male doctor with dark hair wearing scrubs came over to them.

Gibbs and Ducky immediately stood up. "How is he, Doc?" Gibbs asked.

"He's in recovery. We got the bullet out. Luckily it didn't hit any major organs, but there was some internal bleeding. He flat lined a couple times, but we managed to bring him back," The doctor explained.

"Is he going to be alright?" Ziva asked.

"Well, it's still too soon to say for sure, but his chances are very good," he said.

"I wanna see him," Gibbs said.

"As soon as we get him to a room. You'll have to be quick though and only two at a time," the doctor said.

They all nodded.

"A nurse will be out to take you to him as soon as he's settled. If you have any questions just have a nurse page me," he said before leaving.


	8. Chapter 8

Gibbs was by Tim's side all night. He refused to leave him. He would be by his side until he at least woke up. He sent the others home though. He told them to get some sleep, not that he thought they would. He certainly couldn't sleep, wouldn't even attempt it. He knew that the second he closed his eyes, he would picture nothing but Abby being gunned down in the street. He couldn't deal with that right now.

That thought brought Gibbs back to McGee. He was going to have to live those images, probably every day for the rest of his life. And unlike the rest of them, he wouldn't have to use his imagination to picture them. They were embedded in his memory. When he saw them, it would be one hundred percent fact.

Gibbs was pulled from his thoughts when he noticed his agent begin to wake. "Hey."

"Boss," Tim whispered groggily.

"Yeah, I'm right here," Gibbs said.

"Where am I?" Tim asked as he looked around the room. This didn't look like the dingy hospital room he'd been in before.

"Bethesda. You're home, Tim," Gibbs told him.

"I…Is Abby back too?" Tim asked. Well, okay, he knew she wasn't back. She would never be back again. He wanted to about her body though.

"Not yet. We couldn't take you both in the same plane," Gibbs said. Well, they could've, but no one thought that would be a good idea.

"D…does her brother know?" Tim asked.

"No, not yet. We were more worried about making sure you would be okay. Which you are. You're gonna be fine," Gibbs said.

"You mean I'm going to live. You mean my body isn't going to give out anytime soon. There's a difference between that and being fine," Tim said. He was under no delusion that he would be okay ever again. The best he could hope for was being alive, and honestly, a large part of him wished he wasn't. He didn't want to live with the pain of watching someone he loved die.

"Yeah, I know you're not okay. You won't be okay for a long time. None of us will, but especially not you. I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have had to…" Gibbs trailed off and ran his hand through his hair. "It shouldn't have happened."

"I know. I'm sorry," Tim said.

"Don't! This is not your fault," Gibbs said firmly. He knew it wasn't Tim's fault because it was his fault. This had all happened because of what he did all those years ago. He'd brought this plague down on them.

"Yeah, it is. I should've stopped her," Tim said remorsefully.

"You were going to stop a drug cartel leader who had several men with guns with her?" Gibbs asked. That was simply an impossibility. Even if he'd had his gun, which he hadn't, there were too many of them for him to fight.

"Not her, Abby," Tim said. He should've done more to stop Abby from taking those students out there. If he'd just pushed a little harder, maybe they'd still be alive.

"Abby?" Gibbs asked in confusion.

"Yeah. She wanted to take the students to that area because it was the crime scene for the case she was using to teach them, but Senior Rivera had given us a warning when we got there about going into certain areas. That area was one of them. I tried to tell Abby that but…"

"But she wouldn't listen," Gibbs finished for him. He didn't need to be told that. Abby often went off on her own, even if it was dangerous, when she was on a mission. It scared him sometimes. He was afraid that one day she might take it too far and get hurt. And he was right.

Tim shook his head. "She pretty much told me she was going with or without me. I didn't see any other choice. I had to go with her, to protect her. Not that it did much good. I should've stopped her."

"No one could stop Abby when she got something in her head," Gibbs said.

"I should've tried," Tim argued.

"You did. The truth is it wouldn't have made a difference what you said. Abby was going to go one way or another. So what happened after you got there?" Gibbs asked. He figured while they were talking about it, he might as well get the full story.

"Abby started talking to the class about the forensics of the case. We weren't there long before the cartel showed up. Paloma Reynosa told the students to line up for them to get shot. Abby tried to tell them that she was a guest of the government. Like that would help the situation. Then Paloma said something about taking us hostage instead. I saw my opening then. I showed her my badge and asked her to take me hostage and let the others go," Tim explained.

Gibbs went wide-eyed at the realization of how far his agent went to preserve the lives of Abby and those students. He had to have known that he most likely would've been killed if Paloma had taken him and still he was willing to do it. How Tim could blame himself, Gibbs didn't know. The man had gone above and beyond the call of duty to save them.

"But Paloma wasn't interested in hostages. She said she wanted to send a different kind of message. So she gave her men the order to kill everyone. It all happened so fast. O…one by one, they k…killed them all," Tim said. His voice had broken by the time he was finished.

Gibbs shuttered at the mental images that went through his mind. It was awful just to think about, let alone live it like McGee had to.

Tim took a deep breath to try to compose himself. "After she shot me, she put that thing in my hand and told me that it was a message for you. She said whether I lived or died, I would deliver it. What was it, Boss? Do you know Paloma Reynosa?

Gibbs was saved from answering when the door burst open and the doctor walked in.

"Ah, good, you're wake. How are you feeling, Agent McGee?" the doctor asked

"I'm alive. That's as good as it gets," Tim said.

"Agent Gibbs, would you mind giving me the room so I can examine my patient," the doctor asked politely.

"I'll be right outside," Gibbs told Tim before standing up and heading out of the room.


End file.
